i Am

i am nothing...

but sin & skin
a mistake left at the doorstep of your heart.
crushed, by you
into one thousand pieces
that i do not deserve.
i wish you'd ground me harder
until i became the nothing
that i am told to be.
the nothing
i made myself.

the nothing
you loved once.

Streetlight Serenade

the walking man leads me onward into anonymity
where my skin turns blue and humid
and my hands shape forms of gold and wisdom.

where the walls rot into rainbows
and the sky melts away into the sea,
converging at the horizon
leaving man in a drunken stupor,
besotted by the splendor of God.

i am beside myself,
the feeling has fled my fingertips
and i am swallowed by a smooth melody
soft and warm against my ear
cold to the touch--
death in song.

but when the sun comes up i am lifted
and the ruins left behind me are too massive
to ignore in sleep.

In your Sanctum

seeing you towering over me--
firm and powerful,
parting the seas--
i take refuge in your shadow.
your movements are fluid
and they engulf my body in whispers and waves.
kisses like prison bars,
i succumb to your wishes,
my fulfillment is hidden in your satisfaction.
raid my body and my soul,
touch the deepest parts of me,
let me swallow your essence
and taste the thoughts your lips can’t release.
my fingertips trace the outlines
of your conscience
and our spirits intertwine in ecstasy.
we are freed from physical shackles
alone and united
in the confines of your sheets.

Old Beginnings

my legs ache with passion
and i can still feel the warmth of your skin.
face up toward the ceiling
i recall the lines of your face,
the feel of your fingertips,
charging my spine.
my head spins in circles.

my heart races
and i remind myself
that each goodbye
is just a hello in the making.

this distance molds space between us.

this distance molds space between us.
each day it grows more solid,
and we breathe life into it
through the tensions in our voice.
your thoughts stream out from every bit of you
making sounds and hymns--
but your pitch is too high,
and my ears are only human.
my words are coughed up
like daggers,
scraping up my throat,
hurting me in a place where your kisses
cannot heal.
i lean toward you but feel only
cold air,
and when you try to look for me
i’ve already shrunken away,
hiding from the sunrise
under my sheet’s sanctuary.
our space is no longer ethereal,
but tangible
and it lurks underneath my bed
in dark corners
in our eyes.

Idée Fixe

these words fall heavy out my mouth,
tripping on humid air
and light breezes,
landing in formation,
forming sentences i never wanted.
they rest like unsatisfied children,
bitter and cold,
forgotten and passionate;
like a kiss from a love lost,
found,
and lost again.
confusion drips out from my eyes,
burning my skin,
tainted with memories i have pushed away--
stuck and bounded
by pointless shit i need to leave behind.
¿podemos hacer esto otra vez?

i don't think so.
my thoughts are tangled and wretched.
you've done too much damage,
but i can't remember what it is.

Dunes and Dissonance

i left my brain on the beach
buried under salty sand,
faceless with erosion.

scattered under torpid waves--
the aches of our fathers,
the sea’s secret keepers,
shipwrecked in your memory.

hopefully whoever finds it
will make better use of it
than i have.

Apellido

your name,
etched in stone, brings
false memories.

i see you,
in the marble.
staring at me.

orange lilies
let you sleep while
the virgin prays.

(e/a)ffect

my hands are chewed and broken
and you stand there--
eye to eye
face to face
heart to heart--
pasted from the inside out,
waiting for the flower inside me
to whither and die,
abandoned and rippling in the smoke of your cigarette.

untie my legs’ laces,
the buckles of my knees and
leave me open,
pale and frayed,
like the bottoms of my blue jeans
that you pulled down my waist patiently,
letting the fabric brush against tiny blonde hairs
and caramel skin.
blowing hot air into my ears,
inflating me with drunk passion and fear,
fear i have never felt before.
and your touch was of no comfort--
burning with desire,
frozen by your stare.

and in the end there was no laughter,
but the mirror’s taunting reflection sang
a lullaby i’ve never heard before--
a nightmare’s refrain.

Intro? Ramblings?

Okay, so basically I'm going to be using this site mainly for posting my poetry/short stories/random brain bursts/etc...

I don't know how consistently I'll update it, but hopefully new stuff will be posted regularly. Hopefully.